Frigg Ragu

“Let me conquer
My own jealousy that prevent me from seeing others talent and partake in their joy.

My own greediness that always turns me into the false protagonist of the day’s epic.

My own bourgeois moralistic mind that wants to shoot lines towards other opinions

And let me not put me or my as the first word in a sentence

And if you should see me loose this battle today, do not feed the enemy Myself.”

This is from Frigg Ragu’s Flickr. She wrote it today. And reading it has compelled me to write this post. I was going to write her a Flickr testimonial, but what I will do instead is link this post to there.

Anyone less in need of this prayer than Frigg I cannot imagine. And how do I know this? I recently told Frigg something that had to do with me. Not SL stuff, a personal matter in RL. Now, women (and forgive me for being sexist here, I am one myself after all) at least in my limited experience, can be master underminers. And it has nothing to do with how much they like or dislike you, whether they are your friend or not. Usually it is very subtle, hardly noticable. But more often than not, I tend to end up feeling shortchanged whenever I tell a woman of something that shows a certain strength that I might have. I leave with an uncertainty. No affirmation anyway. Not that what I told Frigg is really a strength as such. It involves a long and quite difficult to understand set of interrelated occurrences with a lot of sub-text which seems to somehow revolve around me. It would take a very subtle mind to “get” the thing even. Frigg has it. She has a subtle mind. And, more importantly, she is also generous. So, not only did she “get” what I was trying to tell her, but she also did not do the usual thing which I have encountered all too often in similar exchanges: The “oh, you are probably imagining it all…”, “it is all in your head…”, “you know, that happens to everyone…”,  “oh, that is just a coincidence…” … The subtext there being: “You are just an overly imaginative old cow, who is trying to make herself interesting by telling me a loonytoones story and then I am supposed to believe that?”. *(very subtle) snort?*…

I have yet to see Frigg turn herself into the protagonist of the day’s epic. In fact, if anything, she is a master listener. I have yet to hear her voice even one single bourgeois (or otherwise) pontification. And I have never ever seen her manifest jealousy and much less greed. She is a storyteller, someone of a depth of perception and an understanding of narrative sufficient to turn SL avatar poses into “expressive artifacts”.

How well do I know her? I first started noticing her on Flickr, through her comments and then became friends with her in-world late last summer. In SL, Frigg is the only person that I talk to everyday. We correspond via email also. I have collaborated with her on an intricate project over several weeks, with not even a single awkward moment anywhere along the way. No, I do not know her in RL and I am really hoping that I will some day. I do know that there she is very beautiful – which may account for the self-assurance which, as far as I can make out, seems to me the sine-qua-non of generosity. Not that all good looking women are self-assured to the point where they can also be generous but somehow in Frigg’s RL face there seems to be a strength and a clarity (which actually account for her looks) that I feel is important.

I am very very very glad that she is around…

Addendum: Of course what I said about women is a generalization and there are plenty around like Frigg herself who are nowhere near being emotional scrooges. My lovely friend Dina (who occasionally comments here as Ephemeral Emerald) is one such, for sure. And I know of others as well. Obviously. But, without generalizations there would be no statistical data, without which we would have no science – so, by and and large and exceptions notwithstanding, I am sticking to my guns, I’m afraid…


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