Why do I like people?

Xiamara finally got her wish and we (that is me and the tribe) toured the avantgarde fashion haunts of London all day today. All in the name of research of course. I mean how am I supposed to keep my strength up as 5 fashion designers if I am not to get the occasional whiff of inspiration then and again? Started out with Camden Lock, progressed to Spitalfields market and ended up oggling at £2500 a pop pret-a-porter garments by Chalayan… Needless to say I did not indulge there (no matter how horrifyingly tempting his things were); although admittedly, I did manage to pick up a few odds and ends on the market stalls – teee heee. I mean research is all very well and good in its place, but one also needs clothes to cover one’s derriere. (The closetfull at home doesn’t count in this instance at all – of course!)

All the while, as I was having a whale of a time snooping around (and I have to say that some of the stuff that I saw today is extraordinary: incredibly imaginative, beautiful and well made on top of it!), I was internally ruminating on another matter entirely. What has brought this on is an ongoing email conversation with Bettina Tizzy. Not that it is all too directly related; but through some weird associative process this has made me think about why I only like some people. Why do I pick them out of a crowd and take them into my affections? As opposed to the countless others whom I leave outside?

I am not a people person. I do not spontaneously love everybody. I may not be as hard a misanthrope as my mother, who basically did not want to have anything whatsoever to do with humanity, but on the other hand I am most certainly not Pollyanna either. So, the people that I like, that I love, come few and far between. And here would be the question: Why them? How do I pick them?

So, without further ado, here is the result of my daylong ponderings:

I believe that it happens quite suddenly and spontaneously and usually after a prolonged period of what can at best be termed as lukewarm tolerance. And it happens because they do or say something totally absurd and idiosyncratic. Usually something very funny. But always something that shows me that they are quite loopy in their imaginative processes. In Bettina’s case it happened when one fine day, in the midst of a “serious” conversation  – bingo! she turned herself into a beagle and jumped on a swing. Until then, that very moment, I had thought that she was a perfectly nice sort of an acquaintance to have. I certainly respected her for the work she was doing on the NPIRL blog. But strong affection? That happened when she became the beagle – who continued the serious conversation without a twitch of a whisker I might add… That is when I suddenly decided she was totally lovable.

In the case of Truthseeker it happened when we spent hours perched on his/her rooftop waiting for imaginary enemies to attack his/her home. That day set the groundwork for my affection for sure, what clinched the deal however was when all his/her worst fears did in fact materialize a few weeks later.

In wolfie‘s case it was the day he came stomping over during my early days of residency at Klein and instructed me in first defense tactics in view of an imminent attack that we might be facing from the Residents over at Ober. That did it!

In the case of Hack it was the day he got totally bored at an avantgarde sound art event and rezzed a plane in full view of the assembled audience, promptly boarded the thing and flew outa the place without so much as a backwards glance. Now, that is what I call a meaningful exit! hhhhhh

And the same applies to people in RL also. I do not cultivate relationships. I don’t give a rat’s ass for social niceties. I do not pick people because they are (or might turn out to be) beneficial to me in some way. I am not even remotely interested in all those so-called interesting people. In how they look, how stylish they are, how cool, how this how that… And yes: Not even “talent” I value when it comes to bestowing my affections on someone! Seems that my affectionate antennae only prick themselves up when there is absurdity in the air.

Love the stuff! And Thank God (and Phil Rosen) for SL! The place is teeming with it after all!


Just had dinner, during which I realized an unforgivable omission and came running back to take care of it: The list above is obviously not limited to only 4 people in both lives! I may be a tough nut to crack, however I am not completely emotionally petrified either you know… So, to all you other loved ones out there who are not mentioned here: Please be assured that you must have done something totally off the wall as well to worm your way into my affections. Trouble is, I cannot seem to remember what exactly it was – which would be pretty much the only reason your name does not appear above. (Given how there are only 11.3 of you altogether!!! hhh)

There! Fixed that! Now all my loved ones are taken care of!


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