The "secret" page

I am leaving Singapore early tomorrow morning. It has been a weird trip, with very mixed up emotions. I have felt homesick – both RL and SL homesick that is. And like I said before, I have felt sad, lonely, displaced, bored… I don’t know. Some kind of real low. My presentation went well, everyone was nice… So, it is hard to pinpoint what it was exactly. But anyway, that is how it was.

The one highlight was the Buddhist Temple. I am not going to get all new agey and spiritual and whatever else. All of that is so not for me… But, I do want to try to continue to converse with the higher being. Not to beg and whine, but when I need clarification on dilemmas mostly, I guess. When I need to sort things out in my head. I decided that I would probably be able to accomplish that best by writing to him. I love to write almost like nothing else – more than building I could almost say, but that wouldn’t be quite true. But, it is a very close second to that for sure. I concentrate much better when I write. When I just sit there and think of things inside my head, I sort of tend to go off on a tangent. When I write I stay completely focused and for very long time periods at that.

I can sense very clearly that whatever it was that has happened in that temple that day was a one off, a fluke. It will not happen again. So, really no point in trekking off to the nearest place of worship (mosque, church, synagog, temple – all the same to me). I know it will leave me stone cold if I try to replicate that experience. But, maybe writing will do the trick. I hope it will.

So, that is what the secret page is all in aid of…

I could of course, write the stuff and leave it on my hard drive, or indeed publish it all on a secret link on my RL website. But, I do not want to do that. I want it here! Why? I have no idea. Or rather, I do actually… Somehow, I have this weird image in my head that when I press the publish button it will actually get transmitted to where it is meant to go? Please don’t laugh, but that is exactly how I feel that it is going to be. Somehow “save” or “upload” do not carry the same weight as “publish” when it comes to bringing a point across?


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